Are you ready for Prem ka Mahautsav?

Rants. I love to rant, and the motive behind this piece is just that. I find Valentine’s week cringe-worthy.
I thought it was because I was a lonely single woman, so whatever hatred existed, existed because I was just a jealous soul. But no!
I’ve been dating an awesome man for almost 4 years now , most people around me are in relationship and none of them celebrate this Aashiqon ka Navratra. So it’s not jealousy that’s making me lose my shit. It never was.

I have no problem with people celebrating Valentine’s Day, really. It’s not like I freelance for the Bajrang Dal (though I do own an orange shirt, yikes). It’s just all the days leading up to it, the dreaded Valentine’s Week, if you will, that really gets my goat.

February is generally the best month of the year. You work for fewer days and still take the full month’s salary. The weather is fantastic and it’s full of optimism that summer has to offer. But it is all ruined about a week into the month.

Everywhere you go, you’re reminded that much like the stink of pee in public washrooms, love is in the air. It all starts with Rose Day and then continues to be a pain in our collective asses till 14 February.

Logon k pas kitna khaali samay hai re baba. Aur ye teddy day kisne socha BC?!

In the entire world, Teddy’s solve no purpose at all. What are you possibly going to do with a Teddy? Hug it while PMSing? Ever dated a grown man who still plays with ‘Hot Wheels’? If you have or are, he’s not a man. He’s a man-child. Get rid of them both!

And what is up with all the sappy music going on the radio through the week?

You know they aren’t really good for your psyche when you are already engaging in the mental countdown to hell. Love freely, hug as many (consenting) people as you want, eat every kind of chocolate your body desires, fuckin’ lather yourselves in it for all I care, but for god’s sake, just be cool about it.

The whole situation really makes you wonder if it’s just all a big conspiracy by Archie’s and Hallmark to sell more heart-shaped balloons to love-sick baboons.

Could it be? Is it possible that a massive corporation would create something as pitiful as Promise Day just to make some extra bank? Yup, sounds about right.

The day of love or Valentine’s Day is a LIE. You know why it’s a lie? I’ll tell you why.

February 14th is actually the feast day of Saint Valentine, and the real reason for the observation. It’s also the anniversary of a bloody massacre. Neither of these occasions necessitate hearts and flowers. Where did the mushy shit come from?

You seriously need a day specially dedicated to these banal activities? Because if you do then you really need to know what love is!

Pyaar kya hai? Dhokha to bilkul nhi hai janaab..

Love is the instant connection, the undeniable chemistry. It’s days in bed, ordering in, and watching cricket and shouting DHONI DHONIII… together. It’s stuffing your face with French fries, because that’s what you both prefer to a menu full of entrees you can’t pronounce.

It’s the jolt back to life you so desperately needed. It’s creative, thoughtful, spontaneous, and impulsively romantic *kuch kuch nhi hota #ab ye dhokha hai*

It’s missed opportunities, bad timing, and the inability to ever let go. It’s the dreaded moments of goodbyes, and the joyous reunions that follow. It’s drunk texts, “I miss you’s”, and every moment spent together forever replaying in your mind. It’s the butterflies, the rainbows, and everything in between.

That’s love.

P.S –Ye sabhyata bachao Aandolan nhi hai. I hate it because it’s lame, plain and simple.

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