Are you unable to get an erection? Divya auntie explains why

What goes up must come down, gravity dude!

But, what if –agar khada hi nhi hua to?

I mean imagine a scene where your girl is trying to seduce you in her sexiest lingerie and kissing you madly.

You are extremely excited but your penis refuses to obey this time.

Holy crap! What next? Zipping up your pants and questioning your Mardaangi or fixing an appointment for a Gupt Rog specialist?

Most of us are raised to believe that men are ravenous sex-beasts, eternally horny and only pretending to be a part of polite society so that they can find some new crevice to jam their Jeremy Irons into.

So the first time we cross paths (and genitals) with a guy who can’t get an erection, many of us immediately panic and assume that the problem must be us.

We must be profoundly unsexy. After all, what could else possibly stop these hormone-addled maniacs from getting an erection? Your small tits? No, the reason could be his inability to erect.

As we Indians are too good at ignoring every situation thus, this one is no different and Guys end up believing that it might be a momentarily thing.

Well yeah, it can be a momentarily thing because of the overdose of alcohol last night but dude, the problem arises when your penis refuses to go anti-gravity on regular basis.

So, if your dude is a well-rested, non-drinking, non-smoking, paragon of relaxation who suddenly can’t get wood, urge him to talk to his doctor — his misbehaving penis may actually be communicating something way more important than “Not tonight, honey”.

Excuses like- he doesn’t want to wear a condom because it’ll make him lose his erection.

Sounds innocent enough, right? But, the bottom line, however, is simple: It’s all in your heads, guys. You either want to hide your –My-penis-does- not-get-up-easily problem or you are amongst those jinko condom waale sex main maza nhi aata.

Erectile dysfunction is a serious problem yet some guys tend to defend it by saying that – Unfortunately, we men don’t have luxury of using lubricants for our equipment as women have when they are going through their dry days.

For the sake of taking up a male’s perspective on this issue, I got into talking to one of my friend regarding the same.

He criticized me for even asking such question and said- If you girls are not wet, you apply some lubricant, or we apply it for you, and boom shakalaka we can slip through the now well-oiled hinges.

So sweet and simple. What’s even better about that? You didn’t hear us crying about the desert during, or after, sex.

Chances are, we did not discuss how our girlfriend did not get wet the night before when we are munching on chow the next day or drinking the drink at the pub crawl with our buds.

Why can’t you girls stop bitching about this petty issue?

While hearing him defending his masculinity, I whispered to myself– Kon kehta hai Mard ko dard nhi hota. Mardaangi pe sawal utha k to dekho!!

Are you hooked up on porn too much? Certain theories believe that guys are jerking off too much to unrealistic porn so either they can’t or won’t ‘perform’ in a ‘real life’ sexual experience.

Well, it could be true as your penis might only be obeying Sunny Leone’s command instead of you.

Dude, this might not be a problem for you but it will definitely be a problem for a girl who is sleeping with you because your erection is like a gear to the Girl’s journey of ORGASM!

FYI, masculinity is not in hiding your sexual issues but is actually in accepting the fact that your junior needs a doctor.

2 Comments

  • Shashank

    You’re bang on target there Divya Auntie.
    Infact, reading this made me realise that i need to cut back upon my porn consumption. It really DOES affect doing-the-do with one’s sexual partner. Thank the lord that i have a mightily patient partner who doesn’t get too frustrated with the occasional non-performing-asset 😀

  • Asish Ghosal

    Detailed Case study or u can say moral of ”shubh mangal saavdhan”…Jo log movie ko connect ni kr paya unko ye padhna chaiye ..movie ka postmortem kiya gya h…ye writing ka audio banake agr movie k finishing me add kiya jata to movie sayed 100 cr touch krta…hats off Divya Auntie..

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