Baarish main chatri laga daala to life jhingaalaala. Use a condom please!

Baarish main chatri laga daala to life jhingaalaala. Use a condom please!

Do The Rex! Quite a bold move.

And when it’s Ranveer sweetening your screens promoting condoms with that sexy smolder, how can you say no?

*winks* sadly, it’s only the women who get the message though. Not all Indian men are OK with the concept of protection, and believe in the woman *popping the pill*.

Tut, tut! If only we could make them understand.

A show of hands please: who else is tired of being on the receiving end of the “sex-sucks-with-a-condom-on” conversation?

Woo-hoo! You’re about to have sex with a new guy and you know this because he had whispered, “I want you” while nibbling your ear on your walk back from the boardwalk.

You’re engaging in foreplay and things are getting hot. In between heavy breaths, you ask if he has protection?

Princess, I am clean!

Well, well, well Rambo! I know you are not menstruating, obviously you are clean.

But, I’d prefer to be 100% sure that I’m SAFE!

You loved yourself and hated at the same time coz you bagged a hottie but this wasn’t the type of guy to volunteer wrapping up his dick in thick layers of lambskin.

Things are quite extreme when we are dealing with Indian men because they have a tendency of linking everything with their Mardaangi.

Because let’s face it: in a lust-ridden, morally perverse, jerking off on “Sheila Ki Jawani” India, where a woman is raped every 20 minutes, and kissing in public is taboo, where marital rape may never be criminalized for the sake of salvaging the crumbling edifice of marriage, where a woman dies every hour owing to a dowry-related reason, where even a four-year-old child isn’t spared from being brutally gang-raped and even a simple commercial is perceived as a terrible cultural threat, We can’t possibly think of changing the complete society which starts with XY sperms and ends with the dominance of the same.

Is protection another way to assert patriarchy?

Life after marriage in India:

-spend your honeymoon in Manali or if you are a Bambaiyaa then Mahabaleshwar for sure

-irrelevant of weather, it is always monsoon for the couples because the guy can’t control his “bin mausam barsaat”

-Instead of using condom they use a phrase –“Are dekha jaega”

-At the end of the 5- 6 day trip, they are always back with a ‘khush khabri’ and that’s how we own the game when it comes to population.

Le bhai dekh le ab.

For all the hopeless egoistic ‘Mard’, the durex company should use a much realistic tagline like-“Baarish main chatri laga daala to life jhingaalaala” or else “saawdhaani hati, durghatna ghati”.

Because, wearing condoms not only prevents you from becoming a daddy but also prohibits the transfer of sexual diseases.

Dudes, we get it. We know you think sex feels better without a condom. But, hey they are necessary.

“If you wish to transfer anything then make sure it’s love (FYI- love here does not mean your uncontrollable sperms) instead of your filthy monstrous microbes”

The condom companies are going out of the way for you else why do you think they would manufacture- Bacon condoms (Attention, food addicts), Tuxedo condoms( for all the diehard fans of BOND-007) and the ones that glow in dark.

Those who get ‘turned on’ by the power alone, your prayers have been answered. As now you can flaunt your ‘Obama condoms’ in front of your lady love because Obama on the dick is still better than Gonorrhea!

Bottom line? We all need to talk about condoms more—openly and honestly. It’ll make you and your relationships healthier, happier and safer.

 

— Image credit: Woman eNews

Divya Auntie
Meet the author / Divya Auntie

Heya, myself DIvya auntie, a Delhi based student tired of all the unreal shit out there about things called society.. I will be telling stories others shun away. Yours perhaps?

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