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We have become the men we want to marry

We have become the men we want to marry

Enough with the waiting!

Was I waiting for my prince charming to come and fly me off to some wonderland? Hell NO. But, I was surely waiting to fall in love with the man of my dreams. Someone who is brave, independent and the one who is unapologetically himself. Wait? But aren’t these the words that define me as well. So, what am I looking for? Fucking, existential questions haan!

We were told to need, to look for someone, to wait for a man to come and save us. Where did this damsel in distress business come from? I guess it dates back to the times when we were taught to become creatures that need a man to become complete, we were taught that our existence was not enough to be whole, we were taught that there were some things and tasks that we simply couldn’t do and we were taught that our ultimate goal in life was to get married and to have kids*baby factory*

But, we have decided to mend our own broken pieces and put them back together with brilliance and hope instead, we have decided to create instead, we have decided to inspire instead. If something knocks us on our asses, you better believe we will be the ones lifting ourselves right back up. We have demanded our right to be whole, the right to be complete, and the right to live without any other external validation.

And we are creating…

And we are inspiring…

And we are succeeding…

 We are enriching our own lives by doing the things we love, pursuing jobs typically not “reserved” for women and by voicing our opinions when we need to be heard.

I have stopped looking for a man with a guitar, instead I learnt it myself. I learnt it not because I have given up on men but because I am more focused on what I become as a person than on what may or may not find in the future. Because I see myself growing every day, becoming my own definition of what I should aspire to, finding answers and meaning inside of me.

 “Meri koi zidd nahin, na hi hai koi kranti ka vichar,

Mujhko main rehne de duniya, hoga bahut bahut aabhar”

So, when did we become the people we’ve been striving to spend our lives with?

I see that women around me are becoming the man they were taught to find as well. I see them questioning, creating homes inside themselves and building brand new phenomenal women.

I see them as warriors.

I see them as masters of resilience..

Creatures of the extraordinary.

But all of us are striving for interdependence. People often say to me, isn’t it wonderful that you finally found someone you wanted to marry. And I never quite know how to respond because that isn’t it — it wasn’t that every other man was the wrong man. Nor was it that I was waiting. For something external. It’s we’re waiting for something in ourselves. We’re waiting to get to a place where we can become interdependent with another human being without giving up ourselves. We are waiting to give birth to ourselves.

We may pull the push door and push the pull door, but we always get it open.

P.S- The above words are not to be confused with anti-men campaign but have to be seen as empowering journey of all the women across the globe.

Divya Auntie
Meet the author / Divya Auntie

Heya, myself DIvya auntie, a Delhi based student tired of all the unreal shit out there about things called society.. I will be telling stories others shun away. Yours perhaps?

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